But it has emerged this week that Scotland’s capital is ill-prepared to cope with the predicted influx of a million squillion people planning to descend on the city during the G8 conference.

Head of Edinburgh’s marketing department, Malcolm Matrix, issued a heartfelt plea this week for other Scottish cities to come to Auld Reekie’s aid. "By segmenting the socio-demographic make-up of the protestors it's quite clear that a fair proportion of the arriving mob will be pure scruff and therefore not the type of people we want."

Mr Matrix argues that Edinburgh could take a proportion of the protestors - those in possession of an Amex Platinum card and comfortably replete just having had their tea.

Those protestors seeking a right good ruck with their day out could be directed to Glasgow’s Buchanan Street and handed Old Firm colours just prior to it all kicking off.

Those looking for an empathic journey into Third World conditions will be directed to the aforementioned Dundee, while those interested in experiencing an urban polity where cash doesn’t exist will be encouraged to visit Aberdeen.

Sir Bob Geldof, aware that his call for a million people to descend on the capital might cause logistical problems, has vowed to do his part to dissuade arrivals - by picking up his guitar and singing.

And if that awful prospect does not put them off , then organisers of the anti-poverty campaign may have to exercise the nuclear option: Midge Ure threatens to reform UltraVox.