| The Scottish Executive announced
this week plans to provide rail links to airports in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Edinburgh
based transport consultants heralded plans for the new link as "a significant step
forward in integrating the capital’s transport infrastructure". Responses
over in the west were less enthused, with one sour-faced weegie commentator, er,
commentating: "Whoop de fuckin’ doop."
In detail, the Edinburgh plan calls for a dedicated new station meeting the
needs of the capital’s air travellers, with intending travellers being met by an
array of rickshaws so they don’t actually have to walk anywhere.
In Glasgow, travellers to the airport from Central Station will not actually
have the benefit of a new airport station. Instead the driver of the through train to
Greenock will slow down momentarily to allow intending travellers to attempt to jump off. |
A Scottish Executive
spokespiedaterreinthenewtown explains: "There’s a lot of ill-informed comment
that implies that Glasgow always comes off second best when money’s being spent.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m sure that the
admittedly small proportion of weegie scum surviving the exit from the train will have
cause to thank us for speeding up transfer times as they head off to Costa Del Lard or
wherever it is they go to enjoy sun and lager drenched holidays."
In any case, the new links will only provide an interim solution in the capital.
As previously reported in the JT, work is already advanced in building Edinburgh’s
Saurrian stargate matrix , allowing senior SE civil servants to get home to Sussex for the
weekend to see the "femlay". |
