| Scots throughout the known
universe reacted with customary quiet gloating satisfaction last night on the news that
England had been put out of cricket’s World Cup. That lovely warm feeling of Schadenfreude - at news of our
cousins’ discomfort was unfortunately diluted by our continuing collective confusion
over what cricket’s actually about.
A spokesScot told the JT: "England are out and
that’s obviously great. But apparently they got binned just because two others teams
didn’t play. I mean, how does that work?"
Professor Beaker, of Edinburgh’s Department of
Real Sports Like Fitba’ agrees that the game that England gave to the world whether
the world wanted it or not, is a source of continuing confusion: "seemingly two teams
can play a match for 3 days and still draw, I mean, honest to Christ, what’s the
point in that?"
Variously described by Scots as "rounders for
big bairns*" and "poofing aboot in white trousers" the secret of cricket
may forever remain a mystery to the nation.
But given the amount of coverage the latest defeat
gets on national TV, it must be a serious setback for England’s sporting heroes and
is therefore, ipso facto, a good thing. |
