| Following reports that troubled
BBC Scotland soap River City had virtually no viewers this week, senior figures at the BBC
are reviewing the "family friendly" format of the serial drama. Sources at
the BBC confirmed this week that any viewing figures at all relied on extended family
groups of cast and crew watching the show out of a misguided sense of familial loyalty.
"To justify spending over £10m of other people’s money on this pile of shite,
it was vital that all blood relatives of cast and crew watched the show religiously. Last
week’s miniscule ratings suggest that cousins, uncles and aunties have given up on
the show. Leaving only very close relatives to sit, watch and pretend that the waste of
video tape on display is any good." |
The true situation might in fact
be much worse. Fully 25% of viewing figures recorded last week only existed because
Hector, a border collie, accidentally pressed on the TV remote while looking for his
favourite play ball. The chopping of River City might, in a rational world, free up
budget for interesting home grown drama but it’ll probably just mean that the BBC
will simply spend more money on Monarch of the Fuckin’ Glen. God help us all.
Elsewhere on planet telly, The Scotsman reported this week that STV are looking to
replace High Road with a show with a "more modern setting".
No, I’ve no idea what that means either… |
