| Press reports criticising Scottish
Enterprise’s performance are risking damaging the agency’s role in promoting a
key sector of the Scottish economy - according to business consultants charged with
transforming the agency. Pausing only to light up a quite acceptable
corona, one consultant told the JT: "SE spent over £6m this financial year paying us
to tell them what to do. We would urge critics of SE to think twice about their attacks -
do the Scottish people really want consultants to suffer a downturn in turnover?"
Enterprise minister Iain "Nice but Dim" Gray
has asked for an internal report on the agency’s performance, but it is thought that
Mr Gray may find understanding financial ratios problematic. |
A civil servant working in the
ex-teacher’s department told the JT: "I wouldn’t say Iain’s thick but
he thinks a spreadsheet is something you finish off with hospital corners." It
is thought that the attack on the SE will result in senior managers working long into the
afternoon coming up with a plausible defence - just as soon as consultants can be found to
workshop the discussions.
While lesser satirists might make something of the fact that an agency
supposedly replete with business experts spend millions employing business experts to
advise them, The JT refuses to be drawn into such an obvious excuse for a gag. Apart from
just then… |
