| Despite the emergence of
a Scottish goalkeeper who is not de facto a breach of the Trades Descriptions Act, it is
unlikely that 19-year old David Marshall will be called up to the national colours any
time soon. National coach, Berti Vogts, while impressed by Marshall’s stalwart
stopping for Celtic against Barca, is said to be sticking to his master plan as he told
the JT : "Drafting in Marshall would upset the balance of the whole team."
Berti, A fan of total football, thinks that Marshall’s inclusion would disrupt his
much vaunted "elf diddies" strategy, a precision plan to ensure that the
national squad represents a careful blend of incompetence, inexperience and continuing
failure to win anything - even an overly friendly against bloody Wales. Christ.
Ever the optimist, Berti predicted this
week that he would take Scotland to the World |
Cup in 2006, a cheerily
panglossian prediction sitting comfortably alongside Berti’s other stated completely
doable objective: the achievement of universal social justice and world peace by no later
than April 2007. Meanwhile over at the other wing of sectarianism central, Alex McLeish
reacted angrily to speculation that Fernando "Psycho" Ricksen may be moving away
from Ibrox in the summer. He paid tribute to the doollally Dutchman saying ,
"Fernando is a top class defender, always willing to vigorously attack the opposing
player. And just occasionally, that player’s also in possession of the
ball…"
Over on planet rugby, Scotland generously allowed Ireland to stuff them at Lansdowne
Road, while in Paris, England unluckily lost narrowly to France.
Luckily... |
