| Helen Liddell, the cruelly
under-employed Scottish Secretary this week launched a campaign questioning Chancellor
Brown’s continuing coolness over entry into the Euro system. The
steel haired temptress explained her sudden interest in the issue to a frankly incredulous
JT: "When not acting as a taxpayer-paid party enforcer for Blair in Scotland, time
tends to drag, so I thought I’d make a few, spontaneous, and in no way carefully
planned speeches about the Euro - whatever that is."
While only hardened cynics and five year olds find it hard to believe that her
interventions do not have Number 10 approval, Ms Liddell insists that she’s not after
Brown’s job. "Although I don’t sit as a full Cabinet member, I’m more
than happy with my role in Government - making the tea, counting out the digestives and
organising periodic purges of counter-revolutionary elements within the Scottish Labour
Party." |
Ms Liddell further rejected claims
that her job as Scottish Secretary amounted to, after devolution, a constitutional
anomaly: "There’s nothing anonymous about my job. Nothing could be further from
the truth" she insisted "It’s a real job, with real offices and everything.
I’m perfectly happy where I am. But if Tony decided he wanted to move me, to say, The
Exchequer, just for the sake of argument, then who would I be to turn him down?" Ms
Liddell suffered some embarrassment this week when she got a postcard from Airdrie public
library reminding her that her borrowed copy of "International Monetary Policy for
Dummies" was now overdue.
Elsewhere on planet politics, Labour in Scotland denied claims that
Galloway’s suspension had anything to do with John Reid looking for a new seat. This
comes despite sightings of Mr Reid rummaging through the shelves at Motherwell Public
Library in search of a Central Glasgow A-Z. |
