| Four MSPs got stuck in a
lift in the new Holyrood building for 15 minutes this week, leading to red-faced apologies
from engineering staff. The four, Phil
Gallie, Margo MacDonald, John Swinburne and Tommy Sheridan along with assorted party hacks
were being shown round the new building when the lift doors closed and then unreasonably
refused to re-open. The four leaders of the free world, (as in: free dinners, free trips
round the parly building etc.) were stuck for fifteen minutes until freed by building
staff who heard them banging on the lift doors.
The staff’s quick-witted action led to an immediate apology from the engineers, as
a spokeshardhat now helpfully details:
"We’d like to apologise for the distress and discomfort caused by the failure
of the lift to work properly. More specifically we’d like to apologise for the
quick-witted actions of a member of staff who rescued the MSPs too quickly, thereby
depriving the nation of potentially hours of harmless fun speculating over which of the
trapped MSPs would’ve been first to crack and start blubbing like a girl… |
Apart from paying for
the fuckin’ thing, the Scottish people haven’t had much entertainment value out
of the new Holyrood Building and we’re sorry that you’ve all been deprived of
what should have been several hours of top quality entertainment." Later, Tory Phil
condemned the failure of the lift doors to work as evidence of the bankruptcy of the
Coalition’s policies on lifts.
Trot Tommy predicated that lifts would
never work properly until brought under workers’ control.
Indy Maddie Margo asserted that lifts would work
better if she was in charge and Pensioner Party MSP John told anyone who would listen how
lifts would’ve worked better in the old days, if there had been lifts then , which
there weren’t, because in those days, you see, we didn’t have lifts, oh no,
nothing like that. If you wanted to get to the top of a tall building, you had to climb up
using lianas specially imported from abroad. Not that we complained, oh no. People
didn’t complain then you see. Not like now, people complaining all the time… |
