Pausing only to fall asleep at the lectern, Mr Kennedy will tell attendant media: "It's become clear to me in that last few weeks that elections being run all the time would afford me the excuse to stay in hotels and thereby get a decent kip."

Inspiration for the radical political departure came to the chubbster one morning, he will tell the hacks. "At three in the morning, with a new baby screaming the house down, it's surprising what ideas just pop into your head."

Whilst the constitutional mechanism that would allow UK elections just to go on and on remains to be clarified, Mr Kennedy is taking personal initiative to secure his own sanity, saying: "After the UK election, I will immediately be standing as a Lib-Dem candidate in Azerbaijan in that country’s forthcoming hustings with clear and costed proposals to address the chronic shortage of yurts."

From Azerbaijan, Mr Kennedy will board a plane for Tonga to campaign for the fair and equitable distribution of grass skirts. After his South-Seas involvement, Mr Kennedy’s itinerary is yet to be finalised, although community council elections on the planet Thargg are said to be on his agenda.

Mr Kennedy promises to return from his inter-planetary excursion just as soon as "that bloody kid’s sleeping through the night."

Meanwhile as the election draws to its conclusion, Alex "No bandwagon left unjumped on" Salmond gave his support to the complete truckers demanding a cut in petrol duty.

Alex obviously hadn’t read the results of a survey that finds the vast majority of Scots want action to combat global warming which would inevitably include rises in petrol duty.