Yes, since our webmistress returned, avec fils, from Upside Down Land, we are now officially Aussies. For example, of an evening, we now drink copious amounts of ice-cold lager and then fall down. Actually, when I come to think of it, I’ve always done that anyway, but never mind.

Suffice to say, our little family is now again complete, apart from the daughter unit, so normal service is resumed.

And how did I spend the sojourn inflicted by my SO’s absence? Well, to give you a salacious example, one evening I answered the door.

I find having a talking door slightly irritating but no matter, for on opening said door who should be there but Maura Tierney AND Carrie Ann Moss, standing there smilingly dressed in cheer leader outfits and offering an evening of bendy-related distractions.

Actually, wait a minute, the more I think about it, I might’ve just dreamt that…

What actually happened was receipt of a series of interesting emails, that I shall now share with you, whether you want me to or not.

"Great Honour = There’s no money in it."

I do however hold out the hope that, at the very least, I’ll now receive a , quite frankly, long overdue invite to the next Royal Garden Party at Holyrood, so I’ll keep you posted.

Next, a Canadian website concerned with all matters Scottish, has kindly offered to create a section dedicated to The JT. If you want to check it out, the  relevant "Uhrill" is www.thebloodistrong.com

The guy who runs it, David, gave his kid Half Life 2 for Xmas and I’m still working on wangling a visit to BC to get a shot, so I’m warning you lot, behave yourselves when you visit.

Do you remember that daft story about Scottish dentistry in The JT a couple of months back? Well, it appears that it was picked up by a discussion board run by and for dentists throughout the UK, and I’ve got the complimentary email from a dentist in Wales to prove it. Disappointingly, the email content didn’t include an offer of free bridge work , but you can’t have everything I suppose.

Suitably anonymised (is that a word?) the text reads:

"Hullo there,

I want to subscribe, at least for now (a tiny bit of low-key [and low-brow] Canadian humour, there). I am live in Toronto, Ontario (where it is in fact cold and snowing at the moment, as you undoubtedly presume.

How I found the Jaggy Thistle is an interesting and perhaps unusual tale. My mate and I recently took a short trip to Bermuda to visit his brother, and while (sorry, whilst) touring about, we happened on the HMS Trafalgar, an SSN submarine docked there for a few days on its way to a training mission close to the US. A very polite and obliging seaman obtained permission to tour us around the sub, and entertained us for a couple of hours with tales and disclosable information. We were thrilled and fascinated, having never been in a submarine before. Upon our return I was hunting on the internet for more information about the boat, and in the course of finding out about its various nuclear engine difficulties and occasional collisions, I found your report from March of last year about one of these incidents, Jolly Jack Tars receive reprimand : Fladda-Chuain said to be "devastated". From there we looked at more recent news items you had posted. I am appropriately amused and most edified by your publication, and would like to enter my name into your lists of readers.

I will also pass along your website address to anyone else I know that might be as excited as I was to discover it.

Thanks very much.

Kate"

If any readers can top that, come ahead.

Incidentally, anybody who fancies sending me left-handed guitars, primo jazz woodbines etc for review, should feel free. Equally if you just want to send me scads of cash to review, I’m very open to that.