Blaming a number of factors for the on-going tits-up situation, Mr Boyle warned that the failure to dole out existing TV rights revenue fairly had contributed to the club’s misfortunes and warned that other wee clubs in the SPL were likely to crash and burn in the near future.

Sports economist Professor Beaker of Paisley’s Department of Getting Paid to Read The Record From Back to Front agrees and warns "By the time the Old Firm-less SPL is reconstituted in two years time, there might only be one club left in the Premier.

This would make arranging away fixtures a bit tricky but, on a brighter note, the surviving club would be guaranteed silver-ware in perpetuity."

As the prospect of a club deficient SPL looms, management at Radio Scotland are voicing concern over the station’s soccer coverage. A spokescrystalset admitted to the JT: "With no Motherwell or St.Johnstone how the fuck are we going to fill the airtime on Off The Ball? Let’s face it, Tam Cowan doesn’t know about anything else. We’re fucked."

Elsewhere on Planet Fitba’, The Old Firm has reacted favourably to plans for An Atlantic League - provided fixtures are scheduled for when the tide’s out.