As we begin a new year full of
hope, expectation and hunners of drink, public figures and institutions from all walks of
our cultural life share with us their dreams for the coming year…John
Swinney would just like someone, anyone really, to recognise him in the street..
Archbishop Tom Winning pleads for toleration and respect for everyone especially
viciously homophobic celibate clerics…
Carol Smillie promises to try to act a bit more cheerful
Tragically, Roseane Cunningham will fail to keep her hairdresser
appointment...again
Dolly the Sheep team to give up on cloning generous Aberdonian, "It's just
beyond the reach of science" baffled boffin tells the JT
Prince Charles threatens to visit Scotland more, checking out Dornoch Cathedral
for some reason…
Minister for Miracles, Wendy Alexander grants Henry McLeish three wishes; Jack
McConnell disappears three times
Religious right to target schools as a dangerous breeding grounds for sex
education and rational thought..
Scottish Enterprise gives up on digital economy, new strategy will focus on the
production of strategies.
Dorothy Grace Elder concerned at her lighthearted, devil may care public persona
promises more torn facedness.
St.Andrews University to relocate to Home Counties " It's so William won't
have so far to travel" Vice Principal explains…
Entire cast, crew and commissioning editor of "Monarch of the Glen"
indicted for crimes against humanity.
Renaming of "TheScotsman" to go ahead. SkyNeil insists that "The
North Briton" will be a circulation smash with readers being paid 45p to take a copy.
Clarissa Dickson Wright has russet red tail stuck to her capacious arse and
hunted to exhaustion before being torn apart by slavering hounds…
Well that's what the editor of the JT dreams about…
