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| The Jaggy Thistle
: a correction. |
| Long time readers of the JT turn to
the august pages of this journal knowing that, in a world of half-truths and falsehoods,
they can rely on the JT to render the chaos of the world into some kind of meaningful
order. In the last two and a bit years, your editor has tried, while
making things up, to ensure that a higher purpose is served, that truth of a lasting and
inspiring kind emerges out of the mean and frankly ill-mannered poisonous scribblings that
characterise the Thistle we are pleased to call Jaggy.
It therefore pains me to admit that last week we got it badly wrong. In a
feature on Lorraine Kelly , the JT made the following allegations:
- That MS Kelly was a Dundee FC supporter
- That her show on GMTV was a pile of shite.
I’m sorry to have to inform the readership that following information
received, from Doon and David, two attractively alliterative monickered Dundonians, |
it appears that we unwittingly
misled said readership. I’d now like to apologise unreservedly to Ms Kelly and set
the record straight: Ms Kelly actually supports Dundee United. I can
only apologise to the inhabitants of Dundee for this grievous error but I must ask for
some understanding. My knowledge of that great city by the banks of the silvery Tay is
scant, mainly because my acquaintance with the east-coast conurbation is limited to
driving through it at 70mph and praying that the car doesn’t stall at traffic lights.
Its small recompense I know, but I would like to dedicate the following gag to
the people who make the "City of Despondency" so, er, despondent.
"Paul Hegerty has been promised a future in management by Eddie Thompson
even if the Arabs go tits up this season - he’ll be managing a Morning Noon and Night
in Whitfield." * |
| Inside: This story
was told to me by a Stirling Albion supporter so it must be true: A few
seasons ago Montrose was playing the Albion at home. Inexplicably, the Montrose support
started singing "Sheep shaggin bastards"etc at the travelling Albion supporters.
I say "inexplicably" because in the Scottish inter-town abuse stakes,
it’s a given that ruminant rogering recreation is confined to points north of
Blackford.
Anyway, the Albion support thought about this rather odd taunt for a minute and
then, as one, they started up with: "Fish shaggin’ bastards, you’re only
fish shaggin’ bastards"…** |
| * Thanks
to Doon for technical assist ** Thanks to Graham.
November 2002
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