| Lovers of
good movies expressed tentative delight this week when news came that the legs of The
Wicker Man have been stolen from Borrowhead in Dumfries and Galloway. The original
structure formed the main thirty foot high prop used in the 1970s film of the same name. For
reasons best known to students of mental illness, the film, featuring career low
performances from Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee, has become a cult classic in the
intervening years, spawning a sad-sack bunch of obsessives self-described as "wicker
heads".
|
Lee in typical
scenery-chewing performance
Presumably this appellation describes the content of the
fans’ cranial cavity because only someone with no functional synapses could consider
a god-awful wank-fest muddle of soft-porn and allegedly "scary" goings on
amongst an bunch of inbred halfwits the makings of a good movie. |
It is to be hoped
that the unexplained disappearance of the legs will lead to the subsequent disappearance
of the original print of the movie, all copies of the movie on DVD and video, and the
crusty remnants of the cast willing to be interviewed and say, with a straight face, that
the Wicker Man was "tremendously significant in the history of British cinema." No
it wasn’t, it was a load of bollocks.
The real reason people went
to see the stupid movie |
