| Newly birettaed,
Cardinal O’Brien promised this week that his previous engagement with reality was now
at an end. Previously considered a progressive in sexual matters, the attractively
costumed cleric told the JT: "Having now moved into a senior management position
within the One True Church, I will now be toeing the official line on acceptable versus
unacceptable forms of shagging. So just forget anything I’ve said on the matter
previously."
In fully embracing the medieval principles
of canon law, the new Cardinal formally signalled his intention to progressively disengage
with the real world, embracing instead the strange and wonderful alternative universe
where a corporate hierarchy made up exclusively of celibate males make pronouncements on
human sexuality - and this is seen as being perfectly rational.
As Professor Beaker of Glasgow’s School of
Things That Don’t Make Any Sense Studies explains: "If we’re to believe The
Vatican, then millions of Catholics don’t mind being told what to do sexually by
people who, de facto, have no direct experience of sex. Which just goes to show how wrong
millions of people can be." |
