| Dons midfielder, Steve
Tosh said this week that Aberdeen were already relegation favourites this season. In a
clarion call to Dons fans, Steve, pausing only to sigh heavily and stare deep into the
Slough of Despond, told the JT: "My message to Dons fans is this: there’s just
no point in turning up week after week, it's all completely meaningless." Although
the season is less than two months old, Steve is convinced that Aberdeen’s current
run of bad form is likely to continue - forever. "All of human existence is a
pointless struggle against inevitable mortality, I mean, why bother?"
It is thought that last season signing Steve has been greatly effected by reading John
Paul Sartre’s little known work "L’enfer est Pittodrie", |
a closely argued
critique of Aberdeen FC’s signing policy in the context of a Godless universe. Said
a clearly ontologically depressed Steve : "I look at my bank statement every week and
I think what’s the point of me getting paid wages simply to play out my role in
Aberdeen’s eventual humiliation, every kick of the ball just moves us closer to the
abyss."
Elsewhere on planet fitba’, Chancellor Gordon Brown reminded the Labour Party
conference this week that much remains to be done in rebuilding The UK’s
infrastructure saying : "When Raith Rovers can get royally humped by a bunch of sheep
shaggers there’s something far wrong." |
