| Top brainboxes at
Edinburgh Yooni this week revealed that there is no evidence that breast milk fed babies
are any brighter than other sprogs. The dead-serious research found that there is no
correlation between IQ scores and breast-feeding. The research however failed to explore
other aspects of the issue - that exposure to breasts can actually lead to a reduction in
intelligence.
Representatives of the nation’s
uterinally-advantaged community have long noted how exposure to breasts leads to
noticeably lower levels of intelligence in straight males and dykes. |
As a haughty owner
of chest bumps told The JT: "Even the partial exposure of mammaries reduces the
average male or lady-travelling-on-the-other bus to a state of drooling idiocy. You
don’t need to do a lot of research to work out that one." Scientists agree that fascination with love pillows is closely
associated with the male sex drive, stimulating males to think about sex sixty times a
nanosecond.
Professor Beaker of Stirling’s Centre for Shagging
Studies agrees : "While women find it difficult to concentrate for one week in four,
er, uhm, sorry, I was miles away just then, what did I just say?" |
Man prior to exposure to The Devil’s Dumplings
And,
afterwards
|
