| In a
well-thought-out move, Scotland’s premier bird charity, The Royal Society For Being
Nice To Birds or something, launched a campaign this week to make the age-old Caledonian
Forest more amenable to birdlife - by blowing up trees. Interviewed on BBC Scotland at
the Abernethy reserve, a
spokesbeak for the charity said :
"Dude. We’re totally going to blow the
shit out of that tree over there. Wait a minute. Boom! Fuckin’ awesome man."
Whoa. dude!
|
It is thought the
well-thought-out plan derives from a recent media study revealing that the charity
hadn’t managed to get on the telly for ages, as a source at the charity’s press
office now explains: "The last time we got a
bit of exposure it was about that pelican that we decided not to try and capture because
we were too scared. Dudes in other charities were like "cluck, cluck, cluck,
chicken" and we were like "No way, man" and they were like "Yes
way!" And so on and so forth."
Anyway, this admittedly spectacular and thankfully
televisual way of chopping trees to bits is all apparently designed to create new habitats
for birds but it is unclear how this is meant to work. |
A representative
from the local bird community told The JT: "We’re totally not going anywhere
near those trees dude, The Man must’ve mined the branches." A representative
from the JT community responded: Bugger me, a talking bird and it’s not even a
parrot. Or a budgie"
Dude.
Two dudes from birds charity, birds
not pictured |
