April 2000
Scottish Parliament
latest: Building will now
cost £200 tops - Donald Dewar.
Dolly the sheep team clone
generous Aberdonian
Monarch of the Glen shock: doctors warn:it'll make you sick.
Winning in Clause 28
climbdown: confesses he hadn't read
all of Bible. |
May 2000
McLeish in lifelong
learning rethink: research finds
that nobody can be arsed
Nessie rude to the
tourists shock
Scottish poor health fine by us
Alistair Campbell in Doppelganger shock
Tommy Sheridan deported
Army's weapons recalled
Pikachu for Parkhead
Scottish Enterprise claim success: glossy brochure production at all time high
Prince William for
Edinburgh?
Turnip magnate to fund referendum on education |
June 2000
Tyson fight: compromise reached, he'll now "box" inside
immigration control.
Scotsman relaunch:
"not at all like an English newspaper
that we've never heard of" claim management.
Margo MacDonald a mouthy
cow: shock survey result.
Christ's kingdom on earth
to be based in Edinburgh
Cheap seats row: new crisis threatens Scottish Parliament.
Report calls for research
on mobile 'phones: industry calls
for people to buy mobile 'phones.
Talking fox says :
"leave field sports alone".
General Assembly latest:
delegates bugger up electronics, declare gays nearly as good as heterosexuals
STV in shock departure: plans
to actually make programmes.
Edinburgh in chaos as
bogus vote seekers piss everyone off.
Nuke Sub reactors to be stored on land |
July 2000
Euro 2000: irresistible cheap shot
Promoters of Tyson fight insist : "We
like women really-as long as they're not shouty lezzies."
GM Foods: Windsor think tank gives the thumbs up.
William for Edinburgh: massive jobs boost promised
SNP crisis - latest
The Twa' Bigots: new double act |
August 2000
Scottish Enterprise to offer dynamic outplacement
opportunity to 150.
Bizarre cult meets in Dundee
Sheikh in snowflake shock
Human Genome mapping
setback: bits missing.
Charles and Camilla to marry in Scotland
Scottish Euro bid: run on travellers cheques
expected.
Arise Shir Sean! : OAPS meet in Edinburgh, discuss
weather, tax rate differentials.
Pottermania
subsides: Press press panic button
Scottish businessman bags Old Bag's old bag.
Tourist-free Scotland: No need for panic says STB director, orders another daiquiri |
September 2000
BBC Scotland: New series promises innovative
use of swearing and shagging
Jaggy Thistle Exclusive: Sarah's
honeymoon diary
STB website fiasco: it's all everyone else's fault
Queen Mum: Wrinkly
Windsor Will Live Forever Shock.
Scotsman Fringe row: SkyNeil angry, may destroy world.
Oestrogen tidal wave
engulfs the capital: all that
bastard Clooney's fault
We agree with Greg:
BBC Scotland head concurs with new boss shock!
SQA debacle:
riddle solved, winsome Windsor implicated.
Creative industries
strategy: Edinburgh left out, upset but bravely holding back the tears.
Old Firm special: Celtic
victorious, Archbishop Winning likely to leave the rest of us alone for the foreseeable
future |
October 2000
Tories attack The Jaggy Thistle: claim
bias
Scottish PR agency lands Prince of Darkness contract: Lucifer
not all bad says MD. |
November 2000
Holy child abuse!: Kid kickings all down to printing error, Church
"explains"...
Frankie goes
free!: BBC Scotland scraps series.
Fuel Crisis: missing news stories found
New Health
Strategy latest: perfectly legal
drugs industry applauds "customer maintenance programme"
Parliament
Building Report: Shock finding that
starred First in Greats not a construction qualification.
St. Andrews: Survey confirms university "oik free
zone"- relief in Surrey widespread.
Salmond
collapses under weight of own erudition: mystery medic emergency methods fail, Salmond survives.
SNP elect man
who used to sit next to Alex:
identity unknown but no one cares
New University
term starts: Drug dealers predict
bonanza in sales of tiny squares of black rubber.
Tony Blair:
outright winner of made up award
Tory
Conference identifies new revenue stream: the dope tax.
Hooray for
Dounreay!: other people's money to bail out nuclear industry.
Dundee dust-up latest: City invents logic bypass
BBC programming infiltrated by animal rights maddies: Jaggy
Thistle exclusive.
BBC Scotland
crisis: supply of lovable stereotypes
at all time low
Reshuffle
latest: another brief for McConnell -
not at all life threatening McLeish insists.
Scottish Truckers: ill-advised visit to Plean planned?
SQA crisis latest: staff have been plugging their work, exclusions likely, DM league to be wound up. |
December 2000
Wendy waves wand: fairy dust transforms STB!
Religious right to target Deacon: phenomena due to
sun spots, scientists say
U.S. Election stramash gets McLeish's attention: "Aye
well, it's like voting for Omo or Daz really " declares our leader.
Dyke's dosh dole out will not deliver dross: BBC Scotland management promise
Ex-gaol boss to
reformThe Agency Formerly Known As The STB: shocked at liberal regime
Hague initiative: Scotland can just piss off out of it.
Grangemouth
town centre "redevelopment" plans put on hold: BP agree to cut down on unplanned explosions at plant
Tankie and Trot to battle
it out for Xmas No. 1
Air Traffic Privatisation: Franchise
opportunity available at Prestwick
There is no God: Winning
in shock conclusion.
Highland welcome planned for Madonna: Dornoch closed for the winter.
Farmers say "Keep Euro meat out of
Scotland": poisoning people best left
to domestic producers.
"Castaway 2000" winds up: psychologist to undergo psychological counselling. |
New news
Recent news Old news
2000 Old news 2001 Contact |
|
|
