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January
Joy unconfined as the Second City of the Empire is set fair to share
in Olympic glory!
FM calls for police action to deal with threatening
crowd
Shagging
for Scotland : a user's manual
It was good to be home…
Future reporting of Teacher twatting to be "revised".
Scots
on the Box, "The Devil and Jack Glass", BBC Scotland, 10.35pm, Tuesday 27th
Jan.2004
"Don’t panic! Don’t panic!" etc. as
Navy hands out radiation pills.
Impromptu squawking stimulates salary subs.
"Hello? Is there anyone out there? Hello?"
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February
Scots on
the box, "The Karen Dunbar Show", BBC1 Scotland, Fridays, 9.30pm.
"Tony bugs Kofi? I don’t know about that, but I can tell you, he bugs
the hell out of me!
"What
a way to spend Easter etc."
Vogts
Tee ist heraus following tactical snafu.
"Who’s that speaking? Is that the doctor?"
: Tory activists respond to
Arbroath challenge
McLeish
biog : revisions ahoy!
Avast ye! Scotland is piracy central.
End of World imminent as "bleck begs" crisis overflows,
There’s
gold in them thar twiggywinkles!
Wilkinson to miss Six Nations (Oh, yes!)
"God, aren’t police officers looking younger these
days?"
Scots on the box: "Sea of Souls", "Shameless"
Security
threat grounds Gla-Lax flight amid credible intelligence reports of foreign shiftiness.
"Accountants
to Antarctica!": Expedition inventory to include huskies, sleds and Sage package.
Mitchy me! Galashiels gals are gagging furrit!
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March
Charles
Kennedy comes out fighting, (quite literally, mate)
National
call up for goalkeeping Wunderkind unlikely.
It's
Jackanory-tastic! : JT editor
in ill-disguised attempt to get weekend off.
Jolly
Jack Tars receive reprimand : Fladda-Chuain
said to be "devastated".
Fife man refuses to give up axe : "Need axe, kill deer, eat. Good"
he explains.
O’Neill
considers the "MH" option :‘tic fans consider cancelling Barcelona flights.
On the pleasures of the little things.
"Resistance is futile" SkyNeil confirms.
Students' woes described as "wee shame" by new
rector.
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April
Editorial
SNP’s well thought out "cult of
personality" plan half completed.
Joy likely to be strangely confined as Heid
Jannie George unveils parly plans.
Minister admits: prisoner transit policy has gone missing.
"And, they called it puppy l…urgh."
Editorial
PF to strum along for a living : disguise advised.
Textiles College move to Edinburgh : "purely aesthetic" HW insists
Aussie asylum attempts accelerate as awful announcement
augurs antipodean angst
Yet again, it's hooray for Dounreay!
"See the big house? It’s a very expensive house
isn’t it children?"
School sub leads to widespread spending on clothes, Tory
report finds.
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May
National
treasure Cathy in running for award
"Congratulations! And jubilations!" etc.
Whacky PC error leads to Inverclyde job boost!
"Lift into terror!" Nation holds its breath as future of
democracy hangs suspended
over an abyss! (OK it was only a lift, but abyss is more dramatic sounding...)
Scots
on the box "Heather's Weather"
Scots on the box "Still Game"
Tesco's Terrors Transfix Travellers.
Kirsten konfesses: BBC
hack in ongoing Houghmagandy scenario shock !
And
Finally…A selection of snippets from the week’s news…
Obesity crisis : disturbing new evidence.
Greengairs protestors receive tragically late lesson in political reality.
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June
Editorial
Dalai Swinney admits conversion to pacifism short lived
D-DAY Debacle! Shell-shocked Jack promises inquiry : Tom Hanks promises to look at the script
Sports round
up : Scotland actually win shock!
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July
Editorial
Editorial
Editorial
Fixture clash leads to accelerated parly programme
"Double Cross!" : See the SNP? See film noir?
Sturgeon success ahoy! Editor concedes existence of
deity.
(Not at all really) Scots on the Box.
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August
"Right
then... Who had the pakora?"
Size of PR bill spurs Executive into action.
Herzog’s
hoax's cast list incomplete.
Wind Farms: Yes or No?
Neil’s voting preferences : a psychologist explains.
Concept of Shetland's "summer" befuddles water boss.
Editorial
"Lights! Ciamar a (tha thu?), Action!"*
£750,000 overdraft : "it's easy done" pleads
SNP source.
Douglas Alexander : an explanation.
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September
"It's
Sanatogen-tastic mate!" New career beckons for SNP runner up Mike.
Esther Rantzen said to be "devastated"by
Blairgowrie news.
Scots
on the Box: "Manky Hoor" C4, Tuesday 8.30pm. River City blah, blah, blah.
That Fraser Report in Full! Pages and pages of comment, analysis and complicated
graphs!
Editorial
Southampton
FC suffers from lack of smugness, new report finds.
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October
Black
Watch deployment marks new "inclusive" phase of Iraq rammy.
Good taste limits blootered as Pete supports our boys!
Hello
Satan! Jolly jack tar receives go-ahead for goat-related goings-on
Editorial
Great future for Harris Tweed! And it's all down to those
nice Nike people.
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November
"What is wrong with people nowadays? Why do they all seem to think they are qualified to do
things above their capabilities?" (HRH The Prince of Wales, memo, March 2003)
FAQ ‘n’ hell! New Scottish Gas advice to coffin
dodgers dodges central issue.
Culture ‘n’ that.
"So, comrade baby, would you like a bedtime
story?"
Edinburgh rail-airlink effortlessly trumps pathetic,
poverty stricken Weegie plan.
It's Fagmegeddon! : Countdown to widespread crabbitness starts.
What do you do all day?
Auf
Weidersen Bert etc. : a JT special
"Four more wars!" : advice to US tourists visiting
Scaatland…
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December
"Manky
Visitors": new breakthrough in search for causes of MRSA
"….with
Rutger Hauer as The Duke of Cumberland"
Deep Fried Mars Bars : researchers from different planet in
shock discovery!
"Play nice now" : Jack contributes to ongoing
wittering about sectarianism.
"I’m
going to spend, spend , spend!" says gorgeous, pouting George (51)
Scots
on the box. Britain’s Best Buildings, BBC2 Scotland, Monday 7.00pm.
Bomber Crew, C4, Monday 9.00pm and Piping Galore, BBC Scotland, 10.35pm Tuesday.
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