| New York City was recovering this
morning from a whacky semantic mix up that saw 1000s of Scots going on the piss in the
city so good they named it (er) once. Onlooking native New Yorkers, who
should know the score by now, could only blanch as hordes of dyslexic Caledonians misread
the advert for 10000 pipers as 10000 pints. "We thought it was a challenge to see how
much beer we could neck" one pixillated pict told the JT prior going for a midnight
swim in the Hudson.
Famously described as the city that never sleeps, New
York last night was the city that couldn’t get to sleep as the nocturnal quiet was
disturbed as hordes of the celtically gifted thronged Times Square at 3am looking for a
kebab shop and enquiring after the next bus to Drumchapel.
The day had started well, with professional Scotsman, Shir
Sean Connery inviting his American hosts to visit the land of his birth. |
He told the uncomprehending throng:
"Enjoy the beautiful landscape of mountains and lochs, I often see them at their best
- flying over Scotland at 30000 feet back to my tax haven." Among
other tributes, NYC’s gay community welcomed the Scottish pipe band parades,
screeching "Go girl" as 10000 marching cross dressers added a welcome splash of
colour to the city’s normally strait-laced avenues.
One friend of Dorothy told the JT: "We just love what you Scots girls are
doing with that whole plaid look – it's just soooo Madonna."
Meanwhile, erstwhile political foes Swinney and McConnell teamed up in NYC to go
on the pull, altho’ what regulars at the "Cruisin’ for Skank" gaybar
on 54th Street made of the twosome is not recorded. |
