| Scottish police sources this week
announced a crack (ahem) down on drivers driving while drugged. "It is a difficult
one" a spokesplod told the JT, "because there's no drug related equivalent of
the breathalyser but we're working on it." Top polis boffins are
already designing a number of tests designed to catch out drivers suspected to be in an
ongoing out of their face scenario. Already in the pipeline are a series of tests that
will establish if the driver pulled over has been at what the French call "le tabac
de whack."
- Does the suspect insist in giggling uncontrollably at the thought of being
lifted?
- When offered the choice, does the suspect opt for the Snickers bar instead of
salt and vinegar crisps?
- On stepping outside the vehicle, does the suspect begin to float off into the
sky?
|
The new testing regime will, a
spokescosh confirmed, put additional strain on Police resources. "If, say, we were
sure that someone was under the influence of marijuana while driving, then we'd have to
send the Armed Response Unit 'round their house to check for more dope - could get messy
that. Especially if the suspect's Grannie was there and brandished a mop in a threatening
manner. The lads would have to take her off at the neck obviously…" Government
agency, Scotland Against Drugs welcomed the move, "we welcome any initiative cracking
down on the use of illegal drugs,"
"And so do we" said a representative for the
perfectly legal drugs industry - the fags and bevvie community. |
