| Sources close to HRH Princess Anne
denied this week press reports of a rift between her Royal Highness and husband Cmdr Tim
Laurence. The princess, in Edinburgh to pick up an award from her Royal
Mumness, looked suitably regal as the Queen made her daughter A lady of the Order of The
Thistle, the highest Scottish decoration that a member of the Royal Family can bestow on
another member of the Royal Family while being in Edinburgh.
In a moving ceremony, the Queen handed her daughter the medal with the age-old
words, "Here you are then Anne, another medal for your collection", followed by
the formal response "Thanks a lot Mum, it's really nice."
Later trouble between HRH and her husband only flared up as the royal party
processed out of the hallowed halls of St. Giles. When Cmdr Laurence was heard to remark
to Anne, "Oooh, another bauble for the kitchen drawer is it?" Princess Anne
turned regally and nutted her estranged spouse causing his attractive naval style hat to
fly off. |
The situation rapidly got out of
control with the warring parties trading shots from behind nearby Royal vehicles. The
pissed off princess, opting for a 9mm Beretta, laid down a pattern of suppressing fire
while her contrary consort returned fire with a modified AK47. As bemused
American tourists dived for cover, the Lothian and Borders Police Armed Response Unit
arrived, respectfully requesting that the feuding twosome "put the guns down now!
Ma'am."
It is thought that the disharmony may stem from resentment on the part of Cmdr
Laurence, jealous that his wife gets medals all the time and he doesn't.
With this in mind, it is believed that the Queen will think up a new medal for
the sullen seaman, "so he'll shut the fuck up and give us peace," Her Majesty
was reported to have said, majestically. |
