| In a complete bolt out of the blue,
the Queen Mother, 101, has died. Royal watcher Simon Syncophant spoke for
many when he said "Who would’ve thought a woman her age could die? I’ll
tell you, it makes you think."
It is thought that the remaining Windsors may take refuge in Balmoral in the
near future hoping to avoid the old "bad luck comes in threes" superstition.
This year already, Princess "Puffalot" Margaret has passed away. and
with the Queen Mum reaching her expiry date, that leaves one more Reaper rendezvous
required to complete the trilogy.
Already, factories producing lucky white heather are gearing up to meet the
luck-inducing needs of our Royal Family and within Balmoral itself, reversing centuries of
tradition, Her Majesticness will insist that her eldest son walk through doorways ahead of
her. |
A rightroyalspokesvassal told the
JT: "The atmosphere at the Highland retreat is likely to be tense. With Prince
Charles still jockeying to get the top job, I’d lay money on the Queen staying well
away from battlements with shoogly stones." On a brighter note, the
passing away of the Queen Mum will provide a welcome fillip to the engagement calendar of
Prince Edward. Along with fellow waste of space, wifie Sophie, Eddie has been somewhat
under utilised and the death of Grannie means he will be called off the subs bench to
fulfill more engagements - including opening for Slipknot at Glastonbury this summer.
Meanwhile, as the UK media gear up for the ancestor worship fest that is a royal
dispatch, the BBC report that all major channels will be turned over to an agonisingly
long run up, complete with programmes of pointless analysis like "The Queen Mum - is
she still dead?". The planned coverage will allow loyal subjects to pay their last
respects, while the rest of us empty the shelves at Blockbuster. |
