| As Her Majesticness continues her
Scottish tour, fashion gurus agree, the queen now leads in the UK fashion stakes! The
news comes in a week when the Windsor brand has swept all before it, with stars of screen
and music queuing up to celebrate HM’s marvellousity and glean a few tips on tax
avoidance.
A leading fashion guru, pausing only to touch up her
makeup and do another line, told the JT: "For wearing colours not found in nature,
the Queen leads the world. Ask yourself this. Who but the Queen could get away with
wearing a limey-greeny outfit that looks like it's been dyed from burned off ethylene at
Grangemouth?" |
In a whirlwind tour of Scotland,
the Queen is expected to keep up a punishing schedule of waving, signing things, cutting
ribbons and accepting flowers from small children. The only sour note sounded during this
national period of joyous outpouring came from mad old bat Winnie Ewing who expects the
Queen to change her name, or something. How churlish. Over the weekend,
the Queen is expected to officially open the new Falkirk Wheel, much to the delight of the
local mud-hut dwellers. One Falkirk resident told the JT: "This modern engineering
marvel will really put Falkirk on the map. And with a network of gaslight lanterns planned
for Falkirk’s streets next year, our town is really leading the way in the new
millennium. Yes, the 1800s are going to be great." |
