| Following the controversial
decision to put the maintenance of Scotland's trunk roads in the hands of private
contractors, embattled minister Sarah Boyack candidly admitted that she didn't have a clue
about the economics of road maintenance. In an often tearful interview
with The JT the Minister revealed that she had only taken the roads brief by default.
"When Henry McLeish was handing out the portfolios and roads came up, everyone else
kept their heads down, so I took it just to be helpful. I never realised it would be so
much trouble."
Pausing only to wolf down a comforting Twix Bar the
beleaguered buxom brunette went on, "In making the decision I relied on the advice of
senior civil servants who've been to Oxford and everything." |
"Anyway," the Minister
continued, "it might not be too bad. I mean, look at the analogy with Railtrack.
Private maintenance of the rail-bed, it might be OK. Oh hang on, shit, forget I said that
will you.?" Ms Boyack was unable to continue at this point because
her comfort bottle of Chardonnay had run out.
Elsewhere, senior civil servants were quick to distance themselves from Ms
Boyack's predicament. A spokessmoothie told the JT, "Our role is one of giving advice
to members of the Executive. As classically educated generalists who don't know jack shit
about anything in particular, we rely mainly on responding to questions with a slightly
raised eyebrow and a non-committal 'mmm' noise." |
