| On launching the restyled
Scotsman today in Edinburgh, the paper's management insisted that the new design was
"innovative, completely original and in no way similar to any other newspaper on the
UK market." Attending media journalists were
shown dummies of the re-vamp and there was particular interest in the mock up of the new
front page, where The Guardian banner had been crudely tippexed over and "The
Scotsman" written on in pencil.
Management were however adamant that they'd never even
heard of "The Guardian" and even if they had, they wouldn't have ripped it off,
so there.
In a related move, changes in editorial development were
trailed. |
Very soon, management told
attending press, no poxy, whiney human beings would actually work for the paper, instead,
The Scotsman would be written, edited and printed using a supercomputer code-named
SKYNEIL. The device, consisting of a giant head
thinly covered with something looking a bit like hair, would interface directly with the
paper's printing presses, ensuring a uniform product reflecting SKYNEIL's Godlike
omniscience .
"With the power of a thousand suns, the supercomputer
will totally reshape the press in Scotland or this province of North Britain as SKYNEIL
calls it", Scotsman management asserted - just before being handed their
jotters… |
