| Concern over congestion at our
nation’s two main airports have led this week to proposals for a new facility to be
built in Central Scotland, with sites at both Airth and Slamannan in the frame. Senior
public safety officials have questioned the economic viability of the chosen locations
given that night flights would be completely ruled out. A representative from the
local bizzies community told the JT: "We couldn’t have passengers coming off
planes in either Airth or Slamannan once the sun goes down, they wouldn’t stand a
chance."
And, the polce source continued, the safety of the aircraft themselves could not
be guaranteed: "Put it this way. Have you any idea how much the tyres from a 747
fetch at a car boot sale?"
Using either of the two locations might simply replicate the ongoing security
problems at Glasgow airport, where disembarking aircrew are routinely met by a be-capped
ned offering to "look after" their £15m 767. |
Elsewhere in the aviation world,
RyanAir is still sticking by its wish to fly out of the WW2 airfield at Errol. The
airline, dubbed Eireoflot by literally dozens of its satisfied passengers, argues that the
sight of one of its (ahem) "vintage" aircraft swooping in over Errol would
trigger many happy wartime memories amongst the Perthshire hamlet’s older residents. Meanwhile,
not to be left out, denizens of the UFO central that is Bonnybridge will be offering a new
cut-price intergalactic shuttle using the locally based Saurrarian stargate matrix. While
the massive plasma fuel gantries are undetectable to outsiders’ eyes, locals insist
that the new venture will be a marketing success, once they get the brand name sorted out.
One spokesbenylinwithavosenechaser remarked: "We we’re going to call
the new company O’Ryan Belt Air but that gag didn’t quite work." |
