| The government later
discounted earlier reports this week that threats of unplanned nuclear meltdowns at the
nation’s atomic power stations came from Islamic terrorists. A
government spokesmike told the JT: "I’d like to reassure the public that the
latest nuclear threat comes from the usual source - the industry itself."
A senior security expert contacted by the JT checked the room for bugs and
whispered: "We’ve been watching this band of extortionists for fifty years and
it’s exactly the same m.o. The names change, but the demands for squillions of public
dosh stays the same."
The blackmailers, now calling themselves "British Energy", made
demands this week for a public injection of funds to keep the nation’s nuclear plants
running or face the consequences.
Professor Beaker of Glasgow’s Unsafe Energy Studies Group analysed the
latest demands and |
agreed that the group
were using a classic shakedown: "Imagine building up an unstable energy-producing
method as a byproduct of weapons research and then imagine handing over the running of the
energy plants to a private monopoly. The monopoly still manages to lose money so they come
back to the government and say give us more cash or its curtains for 20% of the
country’s energy supply. So, is the government going to say no? Er, hello?" Energy
Minister and ex-Beach Boy Brian Wilson is expected this week to simply sigh heavily and
write the cheque. But he is likely to seek assurances that this will be the very last time
money is demanded with menaces from the industry - which will no doubt agree with fingers
crossed, as usual.
Elsewhere on Planet Politics, Tony Blair rushed north to Crathie Church with his
war orders from George to seek Her Majesticness’s approval. Smiling greasily he said
"Don’t bother reading it Ma’am, if you could just sign here, here and there
that would be great." |
