| The worlds of politics and embalming were in shock this week
when Pat "Doo" Lally, ex-Labour provost of Weegieville threw his hat into the
Cathcart by-election ring and hurt his arm. Mr Lally, 120,
complained of a severe shooting pain in the throwing arm immediately after performing the
difficult manoeuvre saying: "Ooh. I think I’ve pulled something. Hats are so
heavy these days, not like in the good old days when hats were a lot lighter."
Mr Lally, who is standing in the Cathcart by-election caused by the
resignation of ex-Prodigy frontman Mike "I’m a firestarter" Watson, seeks
to convince voters that his days as an uber Labour party hack are behind him - just like
his best years. |
Mr Lally and personal carer.
"I’m sure a few people will be
wondering why after a lifetime of service to the Labour Party I’m now standing as an
independent. Many more people will be wondering who is that old guy and where is his
personal carer?"
The Labour Party candidate, Charlie Gordon, brushed
aside reports of his previously uncharitable comments concerning FM Jack McConnell saying
: "That was all a long time ago. And , in any case, the remarks were made by
completely different Charlie Gordon who just happens to |
have the same name as me. When
I’m elected to Holyrood, I’ll bring all my years of experience as a councillor
to national politics, mainly in the field of making sure my expenses claim form is
submitted promptly." Mr Lally promised that if
elected he would campaign in The Scottish Parliament to immediately reinstate the Good Old
Days when things were much better not like now what with young people today running wild
with their mobile phones and look at the length of skirts the girls wear these days. Bring
back National Service, that’s what I say, never did us any harm. And there was
nothing wrong with rationing for that matter… (cont. overleaf for pages and pages.) |
