| A senior figure at the SQA revealed
last night that the delay in issuing exam results to Scottish school kids had nothing to
do with either computer errors or managerial incompetence. It was instead, the official
said "Quite deliberate." With
previous media speculation rife that Prince William would study at Edinburgh, staff at the
SQA had received instructions to "hold the Higher results up a bit."
The delay would have ensured that no Scottish kids would have
been accepted at Edinburgh this year, thus ensuring the winsome Windsor an oik-free zone.
News however that William plans to "study" art
history at St.Andrews has let the agency off the hook, since the institution is a Scottish
University only in the narrow geographical sense. |
"We'll now be able to 'find'
the data we 'lost' and, any day now, the offspring of the unwashed will receive their
awards. Much good it'll do them. Curse their uppity impudence." The move to St. Andrews marks out a venture into new territory for the
reserve monarch says royal watcher Simon Syncophant.
"Its terribly brave of him. He'll be swapping the
comfort of a closed enclave of status obsessed, privileged upper class English kids for
the uncertainties of another closed enclave of status obsessed, privileged upper class
English kids located in some godforsaken place near somewhere called Raith I believe. I
mean he's just so terribly, terribly brave and he has such a pretty mouth..." |
