| Minister for Miracles,
Wendy Alexander was quick to act last week after a consultant's report found that the
Scottish Tourist Board was totally crap and should be humanely destroyed. The Minister, pausing only to let waiting press admire her shimmering
white dress, waved her sparkly wand and intoned clumsily:
"It's the name STB
that's bad you see,
VisitScotland
from now on you'll be."
Employing what analysts describe as the Windscale strategy, Ms Alexander hopes
that the name change will help re-focus the agency on delivering visitors.
An industry insider however voiced some doubt:
"VisitScotland is the website developed with £6m of other people's money, famously
impossible to find, crap to navigate and incapable of taking on-line bookings." |
Executive policy
advisors are urging Ms Alexander to rethink the name change, pointing to the success of
other city-based visitor marketing websites. Apart from Edinburgh's innovative
www.you'llhavehadyourtea.com other city based sites include: Aberdeen's
wwwhattime'sthebustocivilisation.sheep
Dundee's wwwhybotherwe'llallbedeadsoonanyway.gloom
Glasgow's wwwehatefuckingedinburghbastards.headbutt.
It is unlikely however that Ms Alexander will give ground on the need to widen
the search to appoint a new chief executive following Tom Buncle's decision to stand down.
Displaying her usual disdain for hyperbole Ms Alexander told waiting press
"Scotland has universe class attractions, we want a universe class tourism agency
headed up by a universe class chief executive."
With those words, Wendy waved her wand again,
conjuring up a Trajen class light ship in which she blasted off to the Planet Thargg. |
