| It's Official! Stirling is now a
city thanks to her majesticness and it's full steam ahead for the ex-town according to the
Lord Provost. "It’s a time to celebrate for sure" the be-chained
functionary told the JT "but it's also a time to make the new city a true beacon of
progressive thinking, reaching out to the wider world in a spirit of cosmopolitan
brotherhood. And that includes being nice to people who live in pish places like
Falkirk." The provost revealed that as
part of the celebrations, a spectacular laser display will light up the night sky, using
state of the art technology to "write" messages that will be seen for miles
around. |
"People living, say, about
twelve miles east of Stirling, will be able to look out of their mud huts at night and
ponder the message of friendship we’ll be beaming out", the provost continued
before going into meltdown. In letters miles across in the night sky the message will read
"We’re a city, you’re no. Get it right up ye." Elsewhere,
locals resident in that collision of portakabins nestled on the Moray Firth have had a
year to reflect on what the granting of city status has meant for Inverness. Pausing only
to rearrange the straw in his hair, one Inverness hayseed told the JT: "Having city
status has not really affected the place that much. It's still pish." |
