| Stung by criticism that the
company's home grown output is small to the point of vanishing, STV Executives today
announced a season of programmes claimed to be "Fresh, innovative and distinctly
Scottish." A spokesman for the beleaguered company insisted that the new output would
reflect the zeitgeist of the new Scotland, and would not follow the metropolitan agenda. New series include a re-vamp for "High
Road" when the lovable carrot topped postie finds a wheen
of grass plants growing in a field and the inhabitants of Glendarroch get off their faces
on skunk...
The spectacle of four pissed up students attempting to make
a late night fry up without burning their flat down provides the culinary chuckles in "
Ready, Steady, Oh fuck it, lets go for chips instead."
"Bus Station" is a fly
on the wall look at one of Scotland's busiest bus stations, featuring a cast of real life
characters including Mad Jimmie, a drunken old bloke who talks to the walls, Camp Charlie
the dispatcher who makes Dale Winton look like an exemplar of ravening heterosexuality,
and Crabbit Agnes, the tea wifey in the staff canteen who could burn water, the torn faced
bitch. |
"Scrapin' the
bottom of the barrel" promises to be a fast moving sketch based comedy
show chock full of gags that seemed funny when the whole sad mess was commissioned. Executives were quick to insist that new programming policy would
not compromise STV's commitment to its core audience. "Apart from these high quality,
high production value shows, we've not forgotten our core audience, there'll be all the
usual shite as well."
STV plan to record another 100000 editions of "Wheel
of Fortune" starring that bloke that used to go out with what's her
name, that Welsh actress woman, you know the one, her that's up the stick to that wrinkly
American actor.
He used to be in that thing about polismen in America
somewhere. City with a big bridge and hills and his partner, Christ, what was his name
again? Nose like a skelped arse…No don't tell me, It'll come back to me…. |
