| SNP supremo told party activists in
Perth this week that the party must broaden its appeal to women. Mr Swinney decried the
party’s "macho" image and argued that the organisation must reach out to
the women of Scotland. Departing from his prepared speech, Mr Swinney
told activists "We will not earn or deserve the support of Scotland’s women
unless we work for it. And this is what I’m talking about" Mr Swinney said as he
unbuttoned his shirt and threw his suit jacket to the side of the platform.
While thrusting his groin in a suggestive manner Mr Swinney informed his
audience "Y’see, the laydeez want a little attention, a little kiss and a lotta
lurve."
Long time associates Roseanna Cunningham and Nicola
("The Talking Fish") Sturgeon were in full accord with Mr Swinney’s reading
of the situation, rising to their feet, gyrating lewdly and calling out "Thass right,
John babee, tell the people." |
Perth Police were called to the
meeting after members of the public complained at the very thought of John Swinney with no
clothes on. Meanwhile elsewhere on planet Nat, Andrew Wilson continued to
insist that his call for Scots to support England in the World Cup was not a wind up.
Speaking exclusively to the JT, Mr Wilson explained that such support would
reflect Scotland’s new political maturity and Mr Wilson further insisted that he
would very much like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.* |
