Sources close to the Tory
leadership in Scotland launched an astonishing attack on the editorial policy of this
newspaper.
"There's quite clearly an anti-Tory bias being displayed by this paper," sources
asserted. "Over the last few issues, the paper ripped the pish out of everything in
sight, but not one word was written about the Tories. It’s a clear case of
bias." Contacted for comment, the editor of the
paper conceded that there had been an oversight on his part. "I have to hold my hands
up on this one," he admitted, "I'd quite forgotten that the Tory Party even
existed anymore. Is that the one with the baldy bloke?"
The editor went on to assure concerned Conservatives that
they would feature in future editions of the Jaggy Thistle "just as soon as they do
something worth being sarky about." |
The Scottish Tory leader, called
Mr Brian Monifeith, or something, promised to raise the party's profile in coming months,
to make it worthy of inclusion within the august pages of the Jaggy Thistle. "After our stunning victory at Ayr, when an electorate that had
been Tory since Christ left Dumbarton voted in a Tory - again, the message is: we're
back" the MSP asserted, "and I'm determined to do something that will get us
sarcastic coverage."
An attempt late last week to gain coverage through having
Dr Liam Fox talk through his arse failed, instead only prompting calls that Tories should
face "Humanity Tests" before being allowed to share the planet with real people. |
