| With the repercussions of
Prince Harry's underage drinking still reverberating around the country, a Scots father
opened his heart to the JT this week and confessed that his own fifteen year old son had
never tried alcohol or drugs. "I
know it's antisocial" the shamefaced parent confided "but oor Billy's just no
interested in drinking and doing drugs."
Billy's father spoke for many in Scotland when he
tearfully wondered where he had gone wrong, "Billy's wanted for nothing. The fridge
is full of Super, and there's always a bit blaw hidden behind the mantelpiece clock. He
only had to come to me for help if he couldnae find the bottle opener. It just goes to
show you, you do your best for your kids and they can still go wrong."
Professor Beaker of Stirling's department of
Shit-Faced Studies acknowledged that Billy's was an unusual case, "Certainly, most
kids in Scotland have experimented with addictive behaviours by their mid-teens. Perhaps
Billy is just a bit slow."
Meanwhile, Prince Charles has taken young Harry in
hand, lecturing him on the values of civilised conduct prior to enjoying a father and son
day out - scaring the shite out of foxes. |
