| The Scottish nation, used to
winters where the rain is the same as summer rain except colder, shivered this week as
blizzards swept the country, and it's all God's fault. The deity
confessed to the JT this week that as Lord of All the Universe he was responsible for the
tons of white stuff clogging up the roads. "I have to hold my hands up to that one,
I'm afraid. I was programming the earth's weather last week and I accidentally transferred
a Siberian weather front to Scotland, cock up I know, but hey, no one's perfect,
right?"
Theologians at Scotland's major Departments of
God-Bothering Studies were conflicted this week over the news. |
"On the one hand" a
spokescollar told the JT, "It's gratifying to know that God is actually in active
charge of the cosmos, one in the eye for all those pointy-headed intellectuals, but it is
slightly worrying that the deity can make an arse of things. Tricky one theologically
speaking..." Faced with evidence of Deity Frailty it is thought that
the crisis will mark a transfer of unthinking trust from God to a more credible source of
absolute authority with Minister for Miracles, Wendy Alexander a likely candidate.
God was reported "relaxed" over the possible shift in loyalty. "I
could use the break from all that human entreaty malarky to be honest, I'm in the middle
of converting my website from Frontpage to Dreamweaver and all that praying was doing my
nut in." |
