| With media commentators confused
over the meaning of Wendy Alexander's speech to the STUC conference, The JT reprints
exclusive extracts from the Minister for Miracles' text: "Many
here today will think back to the past industrial struggles over the last 30 years. Older
heads than mine will recall the closures of Linwood, British Leyland and Ravenscraig. But
I ask conference today in the face of the current Motorola crisis, do you remember '80s
band A Flock of Seagulls? I bought their first album you know, it was really good...
We face today the realities of the global market, the vagaries of supply and
demand, the intricacies of international capital flows, but I would ask all of you to
consider this point: what was the name of Basil Brush's TV partner after Derek Fowldes? It
was Roy North, a lot of people don't remember that you know. |
I would not seek to underplay
the seriousness of the present situation and neither would I eat a Cadbury's Fruit and Nut
bar without carefully storing the hazelnuts in the roof of my mouth to eat last, it would
be unthinkable. Unthinkable too would be life in Scotland without
industrial production, but I would ask you to reflect on the Proclaimers song "Letter
from America". Technically speaking, those two aren't identical twins you know."
At this point, Ms Alexander was ushered away from the podium by the firm yet
kindly hands of men in white coats from the Department of non-sequiturs. |
