| As previously reported in the Jaggy
Thistle, it looks increasingly likely that Prince William will study at Edinburgh
University. A spokesman for the institution confirmed that the winsome Windsor will be
allowed to matriculate once two criteria have been met. "First, we require clearance on a very large cheque from his Dad, and
second we require sight of the promised academic attainment. The university never
compromises on academic quality and we'll be checking that all his elementary swimming
certificates are in order before proceeding."
The pretty princeling's move to Edinburgh will spark off a
massive building boom, a council official has confirmed, with plans well in hand to build
a massive fortress, WindsorSchloss, to house the prince and his entourage.
"We anticipate locating the citadel to one side of
George Square" the official said. |
"All that remains to do is to
clear the remaining Georgian buildings in the area by a series of more or less controlled
explosions, next week probably, to give the present occupants time to move their stuff
out." The giant, brooding, ziggurat will
form the centre of a city-wide "Oik Exclusion Zone", protecting the reserve
monarch from unwanted contact with gap toothed, badly dressed locals reeking of rancid
chip fat.
The prince's chosen field of study, The History of Art, is
not, the department head insists, an easy option. Professor Beaker explained that the
degree course is rigorous, involving many hours of looking at paintings and then stopping
looking at paintings.
Many graduates from the course end up as senior civil
servants, merchant bankers, media moguls and Tory politicians armed only with a degree and
a set of introductions arranged by Daddy. |
